In 2012, I started writing The Paper Throne. I was eager, and inspired, and not very skillful, but by the end of the year I had 5,600 in “Part 1” that I sent to friends. How kind they were, for my purple prose and boundless exposition!
June 2013, I had 13,000 words; by Jan 2014, I had 30,000. This was a pretty hefty chunk that I was inordinately proud of, and by Aug 2014 I had 55,000. Wow! Even with a full-time job, one can accomplish so much on evenings and weekends, sans enfants.
Then in Oct 2014, I attended my first Surrey International Writers Conference. My eyes were opened; my mind expanded. It was a transformative experience; one after which I could finally say aloud, to myself and to others, “I am a writer, because I write.”
It was time for a change. In Dec 2014, I asked for a demotion, from 5 days a week and a very busy 2-in-1 more-than-full-time job, to a packed Mon/Tue/Thur in which I squeezed 40 hours of work into 24. I loved it. I could still feel competent, productive, supported by an office camaraderie, and on Wednesdays and Fridays I let my mind explore new pages and plots.
This was the soft transition I needed, and so in June 2015 I gave my resignation, determined to write full-time. For how long, I wasn’t sure, but I knew this season of life would not come again and so I seized it.
And then was seized with panic and insecurity that I was a non-contributing member of my household. It would be the first time since I was 14 that I wasn’t earning money. That feeling was untenable, and I quickly pivoted to seeking freelance web and graphic design work, which surprisingly was in higher demand than even I could meet. I wrote in the mornings, and worked in the afternoons.
A fortunate introduction led me to a critique group in Feb 2016, five other intelligent, talented, inspirational women who buoyed each other’s efforts. They welcomed me openly, critiqued me gently, and over time I began to see another valuable aspect to this world of writing; feedback from other writers. Even the best stories need to be catered towards a specific audience, and their expectations. The entire world of publishing, and querying, and waiting… such lessons are invaluable.
By Aug 2016 I had my final, final 100,000 word draft, having written and revised the entire story several times. I edited that down to 96,000, and by March 2017, couldn’t stand the sight of it. My group told me it was time to push it out of the nest, and for the next 7 months, I queried it.
In total, I sent out 60 queries and received 33 requests (a decent average, which meant my query letter was strong), 12 of which were for the full manuscript (also a good percentage). All of these ended in rejection, though one agent gave me very specific feedback in her rejection, which was not only invaluable, but was such an encouragement. When agents give you feedback, it is a free gift of their time, because their money is made in selling books. Reading emails, and responding to authors they don’t choose to represent isn’t an efficient use of time, but it is an undeserved, and wholly appreciated, kindness.
Oct 2017, I attended my fourth SIWC conference, pregnant and hoping to sign an agent who had expressed a lot of interest in a R&R (revise and resubmit) version of my manuscript. Unfortunately, I knew my priorities were very shortly going to shift, and with the extreme nausea I was experiencing, this writing “phase” was a chapter quickly coming to a close. There was no way I could overhaul 96K words before my baby girl arrived.
Ultimately, I left The Paper Throne tucked away on the back burner of my heart. I had spent the better part of 4 years of after-hours energy and thought and time into building a beautiful world with characters that feel as alive as family members (my husband still quotes them).
When I revisit the story now, I see the diamond in the rough; the manuscript I thought I had polished so diligently was still, in truth, the work of an amateur. It has far to go, but the potential is there.
I’m so grateful for this journey, and my crit group was entirely right when they cautioned that “your first novel is a learning experience”. Someday, I will overhaul that stalled plot, sharpen the stakes, and pull the reader in from page one. I hope to, anyway. The years that have passed have taught me a little more about the craft; I am a better writer, now.
And my querying journey did give me hope: I know that I can write convincing enough emails to elicit agent requests. As to how the publishing world may respond now, 7-8 years later, is another story, and one I haven’t yet started on.
Ultimately, my goal when I started writing was to finish a book. And I did. I also wanted to publish it, so I could point to it on the shelf. I may not have done that with The Paper Throne, but the new story I’m working on now, may very well just end up there, in the flesh.