My First Rejection

Both times, my first rejection stung. It's personal, and there's nothing you can do about it.

22 years ago, I was in first grade, crushing on the precise penmanship and beguiling eyes of Justin Davies. He wrote me valentines professing his love, though word through the grapevine was that his devotions were generously distributed. 

Then my mother cut my hair. Pixie-style, just more boyish and less cute.

The next day, Justin gave me one long look of revulsion and turned away.

I must have cried my body weight in tears. I still remember my mother holding me that night, curled on the kitchen floor, sobbing in despair at his fickle affections while she apologized for choosing a hairstyle that she had becomingly worn only five years prior. Oh, mothers. Oh, elementary school loves.

This time, I didn't take it so personally.

If you're an aspiring author and you're querying agents, it's only a matter of time before someone unequivocally turns you down.

Quality is subjective. So is style, and emotion, and that hard-to-describe resonance when a story connects with you. So, it's only fair that there will be people who like your story, and there will be those who dislike it, and also those who just don't feel anything about it. 

Fortunately for my ego, my first rejection came from one of the latter:

“Dear Ashley,

Thank you for remembering our pitch session and contacting me after a few years! I appreciate your keeping me in mind. I am focusing on middle grade acquisitions these days and acquiring YA only selectively. Unfortunately, I’m not powerfully connecting with the narrative voice in your sample, so I’m sorry to say I’m not the right editor for this. Best of luck to you in finding the perfect publishing home for THE PAPER THRONE.”

— Sincerely, ****, Senior Editor at HarperCollins

She was right about the "years" part: I pitched this editor over 2 years ago at the 2014 Surrey International Writers Conference.

But look at her title.

Yeah. Senior Editor.

At HarperCollins.

FYI, Editors are the people whom literary agents pitch to. So this woman was one BIG step up the rung in the tall publishing ladder I'd have to climb.

But I knew she was a long shot from the beginning. Even when I pitched to her 2.5 years ago, she was primarily looking for children's lit, and I was very fortunate to receive request at all.

"How do you feel?"

I wondered how it would feel. I was sad. I had that hopeful jump in my stomach when I saw who the email was from, and then the sinking feeling when I read the words. It's made me a little more reflective today, but not dejected. So don't feel sorry for me, I'm okay! I've read enough cautionary articles and talked to enough writers that I was prepared. I wonder if the second, and the third, and the fourth rejection will feel different. 

What I'm supposed to do next

Keep my chin up. Grow a thick skin. Keep on truckin' on, which boils down to 3 main activities:

1. Accomplish other things while I wait for query responses. Avoid twiddling my thumbs—or, if I'm going to, I might as well knit (I bought some yarn last week).
2. Keep sharp. Maintain the blog, my online circles, comment & contribute to others' drafts, read writing books, start a new project (I have, but I'll share more another day).
3. Plan my next move: in a month or so, I'll have likely heard back from a few agents—hopefully with some helpful advice. Then comes Querying - Round 2, which involves potential revisions (*wince*) and emailing COLD queries.

Cold querie s are sent to agents I've never met, who don't know me from a hole in the wall. I will be one of hundreds of writers who might sell their left kidney to get published. It's a chilling, discouraging thought, but it's a reality that many of my writer friends have faced. Once your Golden Tickets are gone (aka submission requests from agents you've met in person), the only thing that will distinguish your story amongst the dross is your writing. 

But I'm not going to think about that just yet. Heck, I've still got 9 horses in the race! Nine agents whom I've met and sparked their interest in my story. Nine agents who have my manuscript in their Inbox.

Either way, I'm looking forward to hearing from them.

Winter 2016/2017 Books

Shades of Grey by Jasper Fforde
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Brilliant. Funny, absurd, utterly sane sociopolitical satire. Makes you think and pause and is so full of light-hearted complexity, you can't help but savour each sentence.

The Red Garden by Alice Hoffman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Clear, transporting prose. Reminds me of the film The Fountain —the same eternal, dreamlike story of loss and love and life and unfulfilled longing. The fairy tale echoes and flawed characters make you wonder how much of these common story threads those around us live without realizing. How much of our lives are fated by the woven strands of our ancestors; their mistakes, their blood, their bravery, their bland resignation? How much of our thoughts are haunted by their legacy? How can we find peace in this short, short life?

Best read in one sitting.

The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I'll warn you, this book has a bland start. I was given it at Christmas '08, and I've tried to read it at least 3 times. Finally brought it on vacation, and once I was over the initial dry, philsophical hump I found a rhythm.

You can definitely tell there is a lyricism missing from the original French. I haven't read many translated books, but this one is still well done, and because I've studied the language some of the peculiar phrasings flow a little easier for me.

A suicidal 12-yo genius and a secretly autodidactic concierge... both with great repressed longing and desire to be understood and yet cynical about life's cruelty and banal inhabitants. I did find some of the soliloquies a little high-brow... waxing philosophic for paragraphs, or chapters can get a little tedious. But each thought from either character is a poignant observation of humanity. Many thoughts worth considering.

I would recommend reading in a calm and quiet span of days, during which you have the space to consider loftier thoughts on life and death.

Red-Hot Monogamy: Making Your Marriage Sizzle by Bill Farrel
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

It's dated (2006), but an honest, frank and practical book to make sure you never get stuck in a rut. Relationships required faceted connection: mental, emotional, spiritual, etc. Worth reading no matter how young/old your marriage.

The Not So Big House: A Blueprint for the Way We Really Live by Sarah Susanka
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The mark of cultural application: when a book is written 20 years ago and isn't out-of-date.

The author was clever, innovative, and didn't just identify a problem, but offered solutions. I think any renter or homeowner needs to read, simply to open their mind and blow the roof off pre-conceived notions of "home" and "house wish lists".

Why do we want mansions? Who's going to clean all that space? And who even says that a mansion will feel like home?

Better that we have a cozy space that is comfortable and inviting, to ourselves and to our quests. Better that our space is defined by quality rather than quantity, that it reflects how we live.

What a refreshing argument that homes should be designed with flexible, multi-purpose rooms. And they don't fall into the paradox of doing many things poorly. A spare room can be both an office and guest bedroom. And a media room. An exercise room. A crafts room. Why not?! Why do we need single purpose rooms, which only collect more clutter and dust?

The Pocket Universal Principles of Design: 150 Essential Tools for Architects, Artists, Designers, Developers, Engineers, Inventors, and Makers by William Lidwell
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Fantastic and short read that will have you flipping back to refresh. Simple concepts like the 80/20 Rule and chunking information are defined, expanded, and practically applied. It's these kinds of tactical collections that make you approach problems in a fresh way. Would recommend before starting something new.

The Lonely Bear

I wrote this wintry story with the sole purpose of getting in the good books (ha!) of the little ones in my life. 

The Lonely Bear Who Went Looking for a Party is only 25 pages, but it's still my first (e-)published book! It's the story of, well, I'm sure the title gives you a pretty good idea. Don't worry, I hid some humour in there for the adults, so it's not all sugar and warm fuzzies!

Shout out: to the wonderfully talented South African illustrator and graphic designer Lisa Glanz. I'm in love with her work!

Ideal reading age: 2-6 (the older ones can read it)

Enjoy! Scroll to the end for a downloadable PDF version.

Download The Lonely Bear in PDF format

Fall 2016 Books

Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap... and Others Don't by James C. Collins
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This book was a mediocre read. I had higher hopes, but it failed to keep me engaged and took me 6 weeks to force myself through. I felt that the details went too deep on too few examples; so multiple chapters kept referencing back to the same Walgreens and Wells Fargo studies. Lots of graphs and stock trajectories—is that the marker of success? Would have been valuable to see other types of stats, like employee retention and units of x product sold, ubiquity, etc.

As an entrepreneur and wife of another entrepreneur, I was hoping to glean some small-business tactics. I did jot down some notes for the future, and while we wait for those big leap moments, it's good to note the importance of people, leadership and culture.

I would recommend this for people who are currently part of a large organization, and have some comparable competition in order to benchmark their success against.

Pioneer Girl: The Annotated Autobiography by Laura Ingalls Wilder
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This was simply wonderful. I have read the beloved 9 books to shreds, and it was fascinating to see behind the scenes, marvel at the difference of the original draft, all the historical details. A must read for any Little House on the Prairies fan.

The Firebird by Susanna Kearsley
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I was a little torn by this book. We started off with Nicola and Rob as MCs, both psychic but Nicola resists her powers--and Rob. Then, as the two adventure into the past, we follow little Anna's orphaned journey until she becomes a young woman with beaus.

The first half of the book pulls you in--makes you fall in love with Rob, and empathize with Nicola. But then that's replaced with long passages of Anna's story, until Nicola's journey reduces to staccatoed whinings of self-doubt and unrequited longing for Rob. It's disgruent, and jarring because you realize Anna is so much the better heroine.

When Anna meets Edmund, you can't get enough of their sarcastic exchanges. And you realize with surprise that you don't really care about Rob and Nicola anymore. They've failed to retain your loyalty and interest. I think that's a loss, and also misleading for the reader.

The story ends up becoming quite another story, and the inevitable "lover's spat" between Rob/Nicola is so minimal and predictable it hardly counts. Conversely, Anna & Edmund's story twists unexpectedly, several times, each one clever and heart-wrenching.

There was quite a lot more history than I could handle--I confess I skimmed a lot of it, too engrossed in the characters to bother about setting (and a lot military/strategic dialogue felt like thinly-veiled exposition). The author ought to have replaced some of this with a cleverer plot line for Rob/Nicola.

But Anna's story carries the book. If the point was to have Nicola grow and gain courage through simply re-living and experiencing Anna's life, I'm not convinced. I don't have a lot of sympathy for shrinking violet heroines. So, despite the fact that I was compelled to read the book in one setting, despite its drawbacks, I am so impressed by the complex characterization of Anna that it gets 4 stars, even if its shortcomings should really drag it down to 3.

The Ghost Bride by Yangsze Choo
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Enchanting. A rich, clear narrative peppered with salivating cuisine and sensory sounds and silks. As my mother is Malaysian-born Chinese, this setting had particular meaning for me, and the detail Choo describes of the Chinese superstitions and after-life is mesmerizing.

A heroine whose shoes I walk in, whose heart flutters in time with mine. Some predictable twists, but utterly satisfying, and never simple. A book I highly recommend, and want to add to my bookshelf.

QTA: Do you ever really know someone's motives? How much of the spiritual world affects the physical one around us? Short of death, what has to happen to make you take charge of your own life?

Obasan by Joy Kogawa
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Haunting.

In the Land of Invisible Women: A Female Doctor's Journey in the Saudi Kingdom by Qanta A. Ahmed
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Intriguing glimpse into a foreign culture and the worlds of Islam and Saudi Arabia. Deeply spiritual and at times blandly historical, the glossy, voluptuously sensory writing is enchanting. Worth reading, no matter your background.

SIWC 2016 Revelations

If you're a writer and you've never been to the Surrey International Writer's Conference, I would recommend it.

Every kind is there, from the successful to the absurd (there was a guy in silver spray-painted hat, coat and boots...), and big names like Diana Gabaldon, Jack Whyte, Robert Dugoni, Eileen Cook, and Jasper Fforde. 

There seems to be an enthusiastic misconception about my attending these conferences. "Ash! Did you get a book deal?" Sadly no. I wish it were that simple. Here's some insight into the conference and also the publishing industry.

For those of you who aren't familiar, let me explain: the traditional publishing industry has raised its bar. It's extraordinarily difficult to attract the attention of a major publishing house (eg. Penguin, Harper Collins, etc.) without an agent. It's kind of like selling your house (except in the opposite of Vancouver's market): with a surplus of houses on the market, how can you sell it without an expert?

Answer: writers who want to get traditionally published (vs self-published) are wise to get an agent. However. There is a surplus of aspiring writers. How do you attract an agent? You either query (like cold calling, but via email) your manuscript, or you meet them in person at a conference. If, during this 5-10 min pitch session, they like the sound of your story and get the sense that you're a generally non-crazy person, they'll "request a submission". It's your golden ticket; your VIP pass that puts you ahead of every other writer in the query "slush pile". If the agent likes your writing, they may give an "offer of representation", and if you accept, voila, you have an agent. No, not a book deal, but an expert who can sell it to the publishing houses.

Blue Pencil sessions are 15 minutes with a published author. You give them the first 3 pages of your manuscript, and they give you feedback. Pretty straightforward, and you can direct their attention however you prefer. 

Because I'm preparing for submission, I signed up for extra pitch sessions and Blue Pencils: 4 of each.

Here's what I learned.

All opinions are subjective.

I had 4 Blue Pencils, each with major authors...hugely successful writers. They all got the same thing: the first 3 pages of Chapter 1. Guess what? They all had completely different advice.

#1 - "You're a good writer. The story's there, it just needs a little editing. Watch your POV shifts."

#2 - "I didn't get a sense of setting or stakes. I don't know what the main character wants."

#3 - "Why don't you start with her doing something domestic, mundane? Add gossip."

By Saturday evening, my story felt like a soup between recipes: too much of everything and utterly tasteless. I was discouraged, because I really did not have the heart or energy for another significant revision. But then... Sunday's Blue Pencil happened.

#4 - "I see what you mean about wanting to start with action. But Chapter 2 is so powerful. What if you just stole the last few paragraphs from Chapter 1 and opened Chapter 2 with them? Then you have the context of this side story introduced, the heroine's goals, and the friction of her undesirable surroundings."

Perfect. I liked the less-revision option. But that's not why I agreed with it.

In the end, you have to trust your gut. I was getting to the point where I wasn't even sure if I'd recognize the right answer if I heard it. But then I did, and I knew. I hadn't always been sure how to begin my story, but I felt it was close and just needed focusing. Thank you, Eileen Cook!

By the way, if you don't know what your "writer's gut" is, you'll know when you feel it. If you aren't sure if what you're feeling is your writer's gut, then it ain't. It's the unshakeable certainty in what's best for your story (BTW, don't confuse writer's gut with arrogance, or delusion. Those are similar, but more emotional). 

I've come so far.

In total, I now have 13 agents who have requested submission. I have also:

• written 96,000 words
• deleted 20,000 words (but kept in a separate doc for nostalgia's sake [yes, I hoard words])
• sent a draft to 46 beta readers (in various stages, and not all of them gave feedback)
• finished 4 drafts.

4 drafts. Cripes. And now I have yet another round of betas reading the latest. So the agents will see #5. 

This novel business is absurdly complex. 90,000 decisions. Every word is a decision, since if it isn't there by your deliberate choice, it probably isn't helping your story. Crazy to think about. I've made 96,000 decisions. *pats shoulder*

I still have so much to learn.

Apparently, I write about as well as I present to strangers in a large room. Fairly polished, reasonably well-spoken, but aloof. It takes a few passes to make me write the heart of my characters; admit their vulnerabilities. Perhaps that's a sign of residual writer's self-conscience. Or lack of connection to my own emotions. *note to self: work on self.*

Character-driven stories. Emotionally engaging characters. Tension on every page; a goal for every scene. That's what sucks a reader in from page one.

I estimate that since April 2012 I have written perhaps 2,000 hours, equalling a full year's worth of employment hours. That's only one fifth of the requisite 10,000 hours of mastery. So I've got a long ways to go.

But now, I've got fresh, good, expert advice, new friends, more requests for submission, and revitalized perspective.

Back to work. H.O.K.A.I.C.

(hands on keyboard, arse in chair)